Sketch by Jacqueline Ann Winter

Listen to the Audio: Just the Two of Us

The prom was off to a bad start, thought Dennis. His sweaty palms were making a mess of his pristine uniform, and a hush had fallen over the gym as soon as he walked in, leaving only the sound of Dennis’s labored breathing and the angsty crooning of the Kings of Leon. He quickly realized that he must have misheard his friend Bacon, who had told him the theme of the prom was “Tarts and Hitlers.”

It made no sense, but Bacon had seemed so sure! Now as he looked around at a sea of black shirts and white vicar collars, it became clear that his ears had betrayed him. Not that “Tarts and Vicars” was a more appropriate theme, but the girls at the school relished any chance at all to dress like whores.

Dennis wasn’t even going to go to the prom. He had taken great pains to avoid all prom talk, dodging conversations like Neo did bullets in the Matrix. He had even managed to avoid the prying of his family, going so far as to jump out of a nursing home window when his grandfather unexpectedly sprung a corsage-related question.

Dennis was not prepared for prom. He had spent his entire high school career pretending that all his friends, scores of them, merely attended other high schools, in many cases in far-away exotic places like Wyoming. And now, at the prom, he was finally facing his own loneliness in the mirror, and it looked back at him, with a swastika armband.

The hush had now given way to general merriment, and he felt even lonelier. It was true that he had always wanted to be the center of attention, but this was not what he had in mind. God was cruel, like head cheerleader Melissa Botkuss. His eyes started tearing, and when he blinked to clear them, he saw a vision.

The underage hoochie dancers parted to reveal Gwendolyn. She was wearing a dour brown suit, the skirt well below the knee. Her mousy brown hair was arranged in a 40s style. Her lips parted in a hesitant smile.

His tiny fake mustache bristled with excitement.

“Would you like to dance… Eva?”