Let’s put aside the grammatical heartbreak of text messaging (or, txt msng, if you prefer). English, that great weird bargain bin of romance languages, Teutonic asides, and Latin root verbs, is starting to slide into obscurity. Don’t worry—this is not a disguised ode to William Safire’s “On Language.” This is more about the fact that this whole alphabet thing—the 26 separate letters representing vowel and consonant sounds—is starting to vanish into obscurity, to be replaced by a much more compact and efficient written language system, a la the kanji utilized in Chinese.

Text messaging is an excellent precursor. Why would anyone bother to type “I am feeling somewhat mischievous, yet also tenderly aroused” when you can simply substitute an emoticon? Of course, ancient cultures have managed to compact complicated concepts into picture form in the past without the aid of iphones. The Egyptians used hieroglyphics, and the Sumerians managed to write incredibly restrictive legal code by tossing around some cuneiform. The elegance of a picture symbol makes the abstract slash-marks that represent the vowel grunts of the Latin-based languages seem kind of pathetic.

It should be noted that the Germans tried to combine complicated concepts with the Latin alphabet, with mixed results. “Doppleganger” is a fantastically abbreviated way to express an existential concept. “Kugelschrieber,” or pen, is not. But the idea that we will lose all those different word variations on a concept, kind of like choosing one Chopin nocturne to represent them all—well, it is a little sad. English—which, if you only have a day to check it out, is perhaps best savored by picking up a Thesaurus and looking up all the different ways you can say “drunk” or “clean” or “home”—has always been a little unwieldy, a little repetitive, and a little retarded in its syntactic and grammatical structure. But that’s why it’s so lovable, damnit.

While the transition to a picture-based language is probably inevitable whenever civilizations gain a certain critical mass, it’s also important to note that English continues to survive because it is so malleable. But I still feel it’s important to note the seemingly obvious: as we pass through this technological transition, take a minute to remember that whatever English is now, is not what it will be.
[smiley face emoticon]