Men suck. Well, not all men, but too many. All it takes is one look on the television or one listen to the radio to realize the accuracy of this statement. I’m not sure when exactly in the history of civilization men decided to become complete d-bags, or if they perhaps just “evolved” that way. All I know is, male behavior toward women has progressively become more and more derogatory. Long gone are the days of Ricky loving Lucy or The Beach Boys serenading sweethearts across America. No Ma’am, what we have on our hands now is one giant Petri dish brimming with bigoted, arrogant, chauvinistic specimens.

by Carolyn Blais

One year ago I climbed into the passenger’s seat of my sister’s Honda CR-V that was jammed packed with everything we could possibly fit into Space Bags. After squeaking out a goodbye to my parents through the chokes and gurgles of a too obvious cry, my sister pulled the car out of the driveway. I put down my shades in hopes of stopping more tears from welling up and spilling over, looked for a short time in to the rear view mirror, and then cranked up the radio

Oscar Wilde once said “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” For Wilde there were actually many things he considered to be the WORST things about life, but this quote in particular rings true in this town, in this day and age, in the entertainment industry specifically. I mean, with TMZ, the tabloids and paparazzi, not too mention The Emmy’s, The Golden Globes, and The Academy Awards—one thing is for certain—actors LOVE to be talked about and recognized.

Billy has no idea what he’s done wrong. Just another confused statistic behind bars, sentenced to life for a crime he never even committed. Now, without any means to plead his case, the 23 year-old is slowly losing his mind. Celebrities, politicians and activists have been fighting over him for several years, and a major trial – with a $42 million price tag – is set to go to court this spring. Advocates for Billy’s life-sentence declare he is getting exactly what he deserves, while critics denounce his wrongful imprisonment as a cruel means to an end that could result in his premature death.

Anticipation better not get the best of me. An hour before my partner in XXX crime arrives to pick me up to go to Sardo’s Grill & Lounge, the so-called home of the San Fernando Valley’s Tuesday night Porn Star Karaoke, expectations are flying around, having a heyday. We have both been assigned to check out where the valley’s living exhibits go after a long, hard day at work to relax and hang loose, no pun intended. I repeatedly tell myself there’s no point in all this anticipating, that thinking too much about what will be will kill it. But in all fairness to myself, fantasizing about it is half the fun. All I can think about is having to sing “Physical” or “She’ll Be Cuming ‘Round the Mountain” to a crowd of drunken adult film stars while my arm is draped around Roxanne Hall and the new Jenna Jameson.